I'd like to share a personal story, if I may. It's a story about love gained, love lost, and self-love found; it's not glorious, but it's my real story.
No one ever begins a relationship with the intention of it ending, at least no one that I know. But, as the stastic goes, 65% of marriages fail due to many different factors, whether it's growing apart, infidelity, or just simply the marriage occured for the wrong reasons. It's a sad fact, but it is reality.
In the Beginning...
I never expected to meet my ex at the gym, but sometimes life surprises you. There was an instant connection, something electric in the way we clicked. What started as casual conversations between sets quickly turned into long phone calls, spontaneous dates, and soon, a deep, mad love. We were inseparable, and before long, we started building a life together. Marriage, kids, and the dream of happily ever after seemed within reach.
The Trials and Tribulations of Parenthood
Having kids was an incredible joy, but it also came with its own set of challenges. Sleepless nights, never-ending diapers, and the constant juggle of responsibilities began to shift the dynamics of our relationship. It was no longer just about us; it was about our family. We loved our children fiercely, but over time, it became clear that our connection as a couple was slowly fading. The late-night talks and spontaneous adventures were replaced by schedules, routines, and the everyday demands of parenthood.
Growing Apart: When Love Fades
As the years passed, our relationship began to feel less like a partnership and more like a business. Our conversations became focused on bills, school schedules, and who was picking up the kids. The spark we once had seemed like a distant memory, buried under the weight of responsibilities and the monotony of everyday life. We grew apart, each of us silently acknowledging the gap that had formed, yet unsure how to bridge it. The love that once burned so brightly started to fade, leaving behind a sense of emptiness and distance.
Breaking Apart
Eventually, we had to face the reality: we were no longer the same couple who had fallen madly in love at the gym. Our lives had become intertwined in a different way—more like business partners managing a household than two people deeply in love. The affection and connection that had once been so natural felt forced. We tried to make it work for the sake of our kids, but the emotional distance was too great. Breaking apart wasn’t easy, but it became clear that letting go was the only way for both of us to rediscover happiness and move forward.
In the end, while the journey we shared was full of love, challenges, and growth, it also taught me the importance of staying connected not just as partners in life’s responsibilities but as partners in love. Sometimes, the hardest decision is knowing when it’s time to let go.
Time to Find Myself Again
The thing about divorce is that there is no manual, no guide for how you should react to and work through all of the ups, downs, the goods and bads when going through a divorce. You can lean on friends or family, but if they've never gone through a divorice, it's hard for them to relate, to truly understand what you're going through.
You'll find yourself hearing things like, "It'll be ok," or "You're better off without him/her," or my personal favorite, "You deserve better." These comments usually come from a place of caring, of love for your well-being, but they're a bit misguided and let's face it, not super helpful when it comes to moving forward.
The good news is that, in time, everything will be ok, you will be ok, your kids will be ok, but you do have to put in the work first. What is that work? Click the link below to schedule some time to talk!
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